Romantic Ireland’s dead and gone it’s with Wuhan in the grave.
We are living through truly extraordinary times, the likes of which no living person has endured before, until of course now. This was meant to be our year, 2020, it just sounded nice, the past few years threw a lot at the human race and I guess we all thought we deserved a break from Brexit, Trump and a whole host of other issues.
We are in the middle of a global epidemic, one which will take lives, jobs and businesses along the way. Once the dust of Covid 19 settles we will be left with a shattered and depressed worldwide economy, one that might make 2008’s financial crash seem like a child’s tea party.
Overnight 7,000 pubs have been closed and 50,000 jobs have been lost. Italy is still in lockdown. Trump continues to have his hormonal presidential meltdown ,he’s gone from downplaying the gravity of the virus to telling us all to relax to completely rejecting responsibility for his grave failings and of course is now blaming Obama, sure why not. Meanwhile Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden wrestled over the moral soul of America in last nights Democratic geriatric debate. In the now EU free (sort of) UK the health secreatary Matt Hanock had to deny that BoJos government was going to let the coronavirus spread so that the population would become immune to the virus. In China a property mogul who called President Xi Jingpin a clown and further criticised his handling of the cornonavirus has gone missing. In Northern Ireland Arlene Foster has decided to keep the schools, universities and childcare facilities open much to the dismay of Sinn Fein, oh and it’s only Monday.
Saint Patrick’s day has been cancelled and it’s not because Patrick was caught pulling a Harvey Weinstein or a Louis CK, nobody found some weird tweets he made from years ago, no it’s becuase of this crisis we are facing.
People have already instigated semi social isolation, it’s a great time to be a hermit. It will be hard and it will not be nice, everything is tremendously uncertain , the only thing we do know is that this is just the beginning.
This, however, will be over some day. This planet has endured much and it will survive this. So will we and now is not a time to lose hope. We are connected online and so togther we are united and together we will pass through this time.
“Time and the hour runs through the roughest day”
Structure is important , lose structure and you lose sanity.
“Boredom makes men to villains”
Read that book thats been sitting next to your bed for 15 years, watch breaking bad for a fourth time and for the love of God please don’t start stock buying tuna and toilet paper, space zombies have not yet invaded and the toilet paper thief was arrested many years ago and currently resides in Azkaban. Oh wait.. whats that out the window? Dear God it’s space zombies!
If you can’t see your boyfriend or girlfriend for a few weeks or months don’t be sad, use this time wisely. Download Tinder or Grindr and find three or four new girlfriends or boyfriends, I can assure you mutliple boy/girlfriends is such a better buzz. You also get to play the “make sure none of them bump into eachother” game, which can be quite thrilling at times!
Stay away from old people, not becuase you don’t want to hear another rant about why Daniel O Donnell is a sex god , but because you know you could end up technically killing them. Believe me you don’t want to be known as a pensioner serial killer, it took me years to shake off that title and it did not look good at the time.
Also don’t hijack a digger and knock down a Lidl store, that sort of carry on is for snow storms only.
Don’t join ISIS. This might seem obvious but seriously don’t. Altough if anyones a postergirl for self isolation at the moment it’s our very own ISIS bride Lisa Smith. She’s been locked up in her house with no internet for god knows how long. So yeah be like Lisa Smith just minus the terrorist malarkey.
Finally, look after yourself. Love yourself as Sufjan Stevens once said.
Always look on the bright side of life.
Or try to at least and if you can’t do that well….just start wearing a tinfoil hat and tell people the moons a spaceship and all the powerful people in the world are shapeshifting lizards. Those are your only two options really.
Good luck.
